Out of Kindness
by IndigoEve
Summary: By a twist of fate, Santana and Brittany were pulled from one another's lives. A series of circumstances bring them face to face once more, and not a moment too soon. What happens when fate intervenes once more?
1. Chapter 1

Slender, tan legs paced across the floorboards as the Latina pressed her cell phone against her ear. "Yes, uh-huh. That sounds perfect, I'm very excited for the opportunity," she says to caller in the other end as she sauntered into the kitchen and poured herself a coffee.

"I can be there in ten days, that's plenty of time for me to get my affairs in order and make my way down there...yes...okay...I'm looking forward to it, thanks so much for the call Mr. Ronsin. I'll see you in a couple of weeks." Santana placed her phone on the kitchen counter she was leaning against and, with a satisfied smirk she brought her coffee cup to her lips. _I'm getting out of here...and it's not a moment too soon_, she thought as she heard the sound of feet padding down the hall towards her.

"Morning baby. So who was that calling so early?"

Santana barely managed to suppress an eye roll as she turned to greet the woman approaching her. _Just be nice Santana, it'll only be for a few more days. _"That was Eric Ronsin from _Gleam Magazine. _He's offered me a job."

"Really? That's amazing. Not that I'm surprised; you're so talented. When do you start?"

"A couple of weeks. But I'll have to leave in a few days time to make sure I'm settled and everything is in order before I start." Santana said and she was met with a look of confusion from the other woman.

"Leave where? I don't understand..." Santana always hated this part; the feeling she always got when she was about to metaphorically kick someone in the guts. But it just had to be this way, it's how she operated. Whenever somebody started to become emotionally attached to her, when casual sex became sleepovers and snuggling, she opted for the fastest escape route.

She turned to look into the dazzling green eyes of the brunette beauty she spent the night with and nonchalantly explained "Gleam is an L.A. based magazine. I can't very well photograph Los Angeles events from here in Seatle." Santana noted the tears forming in the other woman's eyes. "I'm sorry Chantelle, this is a great opportunity for me. Can you just be happy for me?"

"Yeah, I am...I'm sorry. I'm just a little upset that you're leaving. I know it's a little soon to say these kinds of things but I was starting to really fall for you".

_Yeah, that's the problem, _Santana thought as she looked at the forlorn woman standing before her. She really didn't know what to say to Chantelle; emotionally charged conversations were never Santana's forte. What she really excelled at was keeping herself emotionally guarded.

"Look Chantelle," she said softly as she reached her hand out to gently rub Chantelle's upper arm, "it's probably better this way. It's better that I'm leaving now before you become too attached. I told you that I wasn't after anything serious. I had fun with you, I honestly did, but that's really all it was for me. I am sorry"

Chantelle shrugged the Latina's hand off her shoulder as her expression changed to one of hostility at the words Santana had spoken. "Whatever, Santana." She spat out. "You know, one day you might get your head out of your own ass and realise that you aren't the sole occupier of your universe. One day you may actually stop treating people like puppets for your own god damn entertainment. You just wanna hope that you haven't stepped on too many people's hearts before you get to that point, 'cause I sure as hell don't know how many more people are going to put up with your shit."

With that she stormed out, leaving Santana somewhat bewildered but relieved nonetheless. She had been looking for an out ever since she broke one of her cardinal rules and started sleeping with her friend two weeks earlier. Santana had been aware that Chantelle, a casual acquaintance, had developed more than platonic feelings for her some time ago. As such, Santana had been diligent in keeping her distance but ever since the drunken slip up a couple of weeks ago, Chantelle had been all over her like a rash.

This happened to Santana from time to time. As much effort as she put into keeping herself guarded, someone would always come along and try their damndest to break through the walls she meticulously built for herself. Not that anybody was ever successful in doing so; she made sure of that with carefully followed rules and strategies.

She only ever had sex with women in which she was not interested beyond anything more than the physical act, and only ever had one night stands...usually. Santana had a bunch of acquaintances that she kept at arm's length, careful not to give certain parts of herself to anybody whilst still maintaining the facade of friendship. And last but not least she made sure never to stay in one place for too long, usually seeking an escape route either when she broke one of her rules or when somebody was persistently trying to get too close.

And this is precisely where she found herself to be now. Santana had started to feel the itch to move on before the Chantelle fiasco began. The aforementioned affair only gave her all the more incentive to apply for jobs in a distant city. The fact that photography was her chosen profession, and also the fact that she was extremely good at it meant that she could easily relocate. Working for different magazines around the country was also doing great things for her career. She was landing better jobs and having to jump through far less hoops to get potential employers to look at her portfolio. In short, Santana Lopez was beginning to make quite a name for herself.

XxXx

In four days Santana had managed to pack up her apartment and cut a deal with the real estate using one of the sob stories she kept handy in order to break her lease without incurring the full cost of the two months she still had on the lease. She now had her transportable life packed away in her Kombi van, once again ready to start anew.

Santana pulled onto the highway to begin her journey south. The drive would most likely take two days because she'd stop over somewhere half way to stay the night. When she arrived in Los Angeles she'd organised that she'd be staying with a friend in West Hollywood until she found a place of her own. Charlie was one of the few people she would actually call a friend. The two had become very close in college at time when Santana really needed somebody, which is one of the reasons she always kept in contact with him.

A few hours into the trip Santana stopped for gas and took this as a good time to call Charlie and let him know she was on her way.

"Hello?" Charlie answered

"Hey douche-nozzle, how ya doin'?"

"I'm okay. Have you left yet?"

"Yeah, I took off early this morning. I'll make a stop tonight, maybe even sleep in the van, and I'll be at you're place sometime tomorrow." Santana answered.

"Awesome. So, how's the drive been so far? Been listening to some K.D Lang to keep you company on the lonely drive?"

"Whatever Up-Chuck, you know I don't listen to K.D Lang. The drive's been fine so far, I just can't wait to get there. I'd appreciate some kind of liquor waiting for me when I get there though."

"No problem," Charlie chuckled at the request.

"Good. Oh, hey, did you talk to your girlfriend about me coming? I don't want any issues, I can always check in somewhere."

"Yeah I spoke to her yesterday and it's all cool. She was kind of weird about it at first but then I explained that you're a raging lesbian and how I'm just your lezbro and she's totally fine about you staying for as long as you need...Just...can you promise me something?"

"What is it Charlie?" Santana asked, a little concerned with the tone of his request.

"It's just, I know what you're like Santana. You can be a huge bitch, it's part of your Lopez charm or whatever. But she's super friendly to everyone and sometimes a little naive, so can you just please be nice to her?"

"Nice? You do know who you're talking to right?" Charlie laughed on the other end of the call, although it could have been interpreted as a nervous giggle. "It's okay Charlie, I can't promise nice because that just won't look good on me, but I assure you I will not make her cry okay?"

Charlie let out an audible sigh and said, "thank-you San."

"Anything for my Lezbro," she said with a hint of sarcasm in her voice. "Anyway, you're holding my up from my driving time. I'll see you tomorrow Chuck."And with that she hit the end call button on her phone and continued her journey.

XxXx

The sun was beating through the windscreen the next day as Santana was trying to focus on guiding herself through the maze of traffic and city streets whilst looking at Google Maps on her iPhone for a bit of directional help. It had been a long couple of days driving, along with a few uncomfortable hours trying to sleep on a roll out mattress in the back of her Kombi, but Santana was finally nearing her destination.

She pulled into the street of the address Charlie had given her. Looking around, she was impressed by the trees lining the sidewalks, the manicured lawns and well kept houses. The place had a suburban yet inner city feel to it which made her instantly feel warm and at home. As Santana was busy taking in the sights of the street, her gaze landed upon a letter box with the number 43 on it and abruptly pulled over. This was it; she'd finally arrived at Charlie's house.

Santana stepped out of her can, stretching her arms over her head and throwing her neck from one side to the other. A little unsteady on her feet from the length of time she had been sitting she made her way to the front door. She'd barely knocked when the door was thrown open and she was yanked into a tight embrace.

Santana's face was pressed into a broad chest and muscular arms engulfed her. She let her arms flail to the sides a little as she mumbled out "Charlie...Cha...dammit I can't breathe."

"Sorry San," he laughed out as he released his hold on her. "It's just so good to see you, finally."

"You too Chuckles, although I think you just did me some spinal damage. How are you? And most importantly, did you remember to have a drink waiting for me?"

"Of course I remembered!" He said feigning offence. "Now, do you want a beer or would you like something stronger?"

Santana pondered for a moment before she answered, "well, considering it's only one in the afternoon I think I'll start on a beer before I get to unpacking the van."

"Done and done. Go and take a seat on the back deck and I'll bring it out," he said as he pointed down the hall towards the back door.

Santana made her way out the back taking in her surroundings. She was already beginning to fall in love with this place and feeling more at home than she had in a long time. Pulling her from her thoughts was the sound of feet padding down the hall. She looked up to say something to Charlie but stopped short when she saw a beautiful blonde haired woman towel-drying her hair as she made her way out the door. The blonde walked over to the clothes-horse in the corner of the deck to hang her towel and, as she turned to walk back inside she stopped in her tracks as she noticed Santana sitting on the couch still with her mouth agape.

They stared at each other, shell-shocked for several seconds before the both of them smiled from ear to ear.

"Santana?" The blonde half asked, half exclaimed.

"Brittany?" Santana said in the same manner as she jumped up and walked over to stand in front of the blonde. "Oh my god, this is insane!"

At that moment Brittany pulled Santana in for the second surprise-attack hug she'd had in a matter of minutes.

"Santana, how did you know where I live?" Brittany asked in all seriousness, rousing a giggle from the Latina still in her arms.

"I didn't know you lived here Britt, I came to see Charlie."

"Oh...Ohhh I get it. Wait...are you his friend from college? The one who's staying here?" Brittany was becoming increasingly excited as she was putting the pieces together.

Comfortably sliding from the embrace, Santana nodded her head in affirmation. Still grinning from ear to ear, she looked into the blue eyes of her long lost friend and said "Yeah Britt, looks like you and I are going to be roomies for a while."

Brittany jumped up and down excitedly and pulled Santana into yet another embrace. At that moment Charlie appeared at the door carrying three beers and a look of confusion on his face as he took in the scene before him.

"Um...Santana? When I asked you to be nice to my girlfriend, this isn't really what I was expecting. You can dial it down a notch if you want."


	2. Chapter 2

**Out of Kindness**

**Chapter Two**

_Santana held Brittany in her arms and rocked her back and forth on her bedroom floor as Brittany sobbed into her neck. Santana was running her fingers through blonde locks and making gentle shushing noises in an effort to try and calm her friend._

"_Come on Britt, calm down and talk to me. It can't be that bad," Santana said, evidence of slight desperation in her voice as she was trying to understand what had made Brittany so upset."It's okay Britty, it's gonna be okay."_

"_It-znot...not...won't be okay." Brittany stuttered out between her sobs. Yet, the more she tried to talk, the harder she cried. Santana just tightened her grip, holding her hysterical friend for a few more minutes until the violent sobbing subsided somewhat._

_Moments earlier, a dishevelled Brittany had come bursting through Santana's bedroom door, throwing herself into her best friend's arms and mumbling incoherent words that the Latina had failed to understand. Santana had yet to get any sense out of the blonde and had since given up trying. The two sat tangled in one another on the floor where they landed when standing had become too arduous for Brittany in the throws of a meltdown and Santana had failed to be able to hold the both of them up._

"_How do you feel?" Santana asked after she noticed Brittany's breaths had started to even out._

"_Probably like how an anteater feels all the time with all that nose and not enough nostril. I'm all stuffed up and I feel like my head's wants to cave in on itself."_

_Santana let out a tired, breathy laugh at her friends analogy, but the gravity of the situation kept her from feeling the humour in it. "Well how about I get you some tissues before that happens and then we can move to my bed before my ass feels like it wants to cave in on itself?"_

"_Yeah ok," Brittany said in a shaky voice and then moved to stand on even shakier legs. Santana was right behind her to guide her up and held her hand as she led her friend towards the queen size bed. As Brittany sat down on the edge, Santana grabbed a box of tissues from her nightstand and held them out for her. The blonde took a couple of tissues from the box giving a gracious nod to Santana and began to blow her nose loudly. _

_Santana moved on to the bed knee first and shuffled her way on her knees until she reached the middle. Leaning with her back against the headboard the patted the space between her legs and then held out her arms for her friend to resume the position they were in on the floor. Brittany needed not to be prompted twice as she swiftly moved into Santana's embrace, letting her side fall into the Latina's front and nuzzling her face into the crook of her neck._

_They sat this way for a long while, holding onto one another so tightly that it felt like they could easily and comfortably melt into each other. Their chests formed kind of a dance as they inhaled and exhaled in such synchronicity that it was easy to believe they had fused into one perfectly formed being._

_Although reluctant to break the peaceful silence, Santana, still understandably plagued with worry, decided to speak up._

"_Britt," she said gently as she continued to stroke the mane of blonde hair. "Will you tell me what happened now? Did somebody say something to hurt you? Do I need to morph into Snix and go Lima Heights Loca on someone's junk? Because I will, you know that right?"_

"_San...my mom's back." Brittany said in an emotionless, empty tone causing Santana to freeze the hand that had been gently stroking her hair._

"_What!"_

"_She turned up last night with some guy she said she married. His name's Tom and he's some kind of soldier or whatever. He seems ok, I mean Grandpa doesn't seem to like him all that much but I think it's just the shock of them turning up and everything, him and Grandma have both been quiet about it all. Well...quiet until this morning..." she trailed off._

"_What happened this morning? Britt?" Santana could hear sniffling and seconds later felt wetness on her neck from the tears her friend was once again crying._

"_She said...my mom, she told me..." Brittany was struggling to get the words out amongst her tears."She's not here for good. Her and this Tom dude are on their way to Florida to live and the only reason they came is..." she was finding it especially hard to force the words out now but took a deep breath through a sniffle and tried to force the last of her sentence out. "They came for me."_

"_What do you mean Britt? Came for you what?" Santana asked bewildered, not quite understanding._

"_I have to go with them San, that's what she said."_

_ "What! But you can't! You're about to start high school."_

_ "I know, that's what I said to her. But she told me it didn't matter about school because they have schools there and I have to go. And then I started yelling and Grandma and Grandpa started yelling and Tom was just kind sitting there all awkward and then it all became too much. You know that feeling when the walls and the roof are getting closer and the air gets hot and thick and you feel like you can't really breathe?" Santana nodded. "That's how I started to feel so I ran out and didn't stop until I got here."_

_ "Well, what are we gonna do? She can't just take you, right?"_

_ "I don't think I have a choice, San. My grandparents were getting super angry, I've never seen them like that, but she wouldn't back down. She said that she has every right to take me because she's my mother and still my legal guardian because no paperwork was ever filled out when she left."_

_ "That fucking bitch," Santana breathed out. She could feel the anger and panic rising inside of her. "She can't just come back after two fucking years and think it's okay to take you away from everything you've ever known. I'm not going to let this happen Brittany, damned as fuck if I'm going to let her do this to you. I'll think of something Britt, this can't happen." _

_Santana pursed her lips and tasted a distinct saltiness; she hadn't even realised she was crying and now she couldn't stop. Sobs wracked her body and tears streamed down her face like a torrent. Brittany shifted slightly to sit on her knees and wrapped her arms firmly around the Latina. Still with her face buried in her friend's neck she began placing desperate kisses there in an effort to calm the both of them._

"_It's okay, San. We'll figure this out, it'll all be okay." Brittany tried to reassure her as she moved her face up to rest her forehead lightly on Santana's._

"_What am I gonna do without you Britt? I just...I don't know how to do this on my own. I need you so much."_

"_Do what, what do you mean?" She asked, looking straight into a pair of eyes so dark they were almost black._

"_Live. Survive. All of this shit's gonna eat a hole right through me if I can't look at your face every day and convince myself that everything's okay."_

"_Don't talk like that Santana. You're going to be fine, both of us are. I promise." And in desperation she leant down and captured Santana's lips in her own in a yearning but sweet kiss that could have lasted an eternity._

XxXx

"So let me get this straight," Charlie said before taking a drawn out sip of his beer. "The two of you are like, long lost friends?"

"Uh-huh, we grew up together. We were best friends from the second grade up until my mom made me leave Ohio with her in the summer before we started high school."

"Yeah, and then we never saw each other again...until now." Santana fixed an almost steely gaze on Brittany for the briefest of moments while she spoke before regaining her composure and casting her eyes down to the drink she was nursing in her lap. Brittany saw it though, and wondered if she still held her apt ability to read the brunette's emotions. If she did, something in that look told her that there was resentment and anger buried within Santana. But Brittany let it go, deciding she didn't want to read too much into things just yet. Instead she was going to take this night to become reacquainted with the best friend she ever had.

The three of them spent the rest of the afternoon and well into the night talking, laughing, drinking, telling stories of the past and bringing one another up to speed on what was happening in their lives right now. Santana learned that Brittany was now quite a successful dancer, _which would explain that body, _she thought with an indiscernible smirk.

"Alright, my favourite ladies, I think I'll leave you to it. I have to work in the morning and if I have any more to drink there's no alarm in the world that'll get me out of bed on time." Charlie yawned out as he stretched his arms above his head and moved to stand from his seat. "So freakin' good to see you, Shithead," he directed towards Santana.

"You too Up-Chuck, sleep well princess. You definitely need a fresh dose of beauty sleep there."

He let out a breathy laugh and leant over Brittany. With one arm on the back of her seat, he looked into her eyes and asked, "Are you coming?"

Brittany gave a sideways glance to Santana before looking back up at her boyfriend. "I'll be in soon, okay."

He looked a little defeated but hid it well before turning to take his leave. "G'night girls."

"Night," they called out in unison as they both watched him disappear inside and down the hall.

The two of them sat in a comfortable silence for a few moments, occasionally stealing glances at one another when they thought the other wasn't looking.

"I just can't get over this, San. Don't you think it's the best coincidence ever?"

"Yeah. Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all world, right?"

"What? Santana, this isn't a gin joint. How much have you had to drink?" Brittany deadpanned.

Santana laughed at that and couldn't stop. "Oh my god, Britt...you're just...I can't..." She stuttered out trying to gain composure. "It's a famous line from a movie. Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine. You've never heard of that?" Brittany just gave her a blank stare causing Santana to give out a small chuckle. "Never mind, Britt. I was just agreeing with the whole coincidence thing is all."

"I just feel like this is some crazy dream that I'll wake up from at any moment and you'll be gone...you are here, right?"

"Yeah, I'm here Britt," Santana said, once again casting her eyes down into the glass resting on her lap. She focused her gaze on the ice-cubes floating amongst the glistening liquid as though she were trying to find among them answers to the questions she so desperately wanted to ask, like why Brittany never kept in contact.

Brittany noticed the concentrated thought going on inside her friend. She wanted to pry but thought it too soon in the reconciliation to try and climb those walls she knew Santana was so good at building. Instead she remained patient, waiting for Santana to open the door and invite her in. However long that would take, it didn't matter because she was willing to wait.

"I really missed you," Santana spoke up, still with her eyes downcast. "Everything was super hard after you left. It took a long time for me to feel whole again, if that ever happened."

Whether it was the alcohol she had consumed, the sudden re-appearance of her once best friend, or a combination of the both, Santana noticed her walls starting to crumble and the feeling unnerved her. So, she opted for what she did best; escape.

"Anyways, Britt-Britt," Santana said, feigning a yawn. "I'm going to follow Charlie's lead and go to bed before I pass out and you draw weird shit on my face."

"I swear I've told you a hundred times already, it was Lord Tubbington that time, not me. I'm innocent."

"Yeah-ha, so innocent. Cotton candy wouldn't melt, right."

"Exactly!"

Santana stood to walk inside but Brittany jumped up to stop her and pulled her into a tight yet comforting hold. She tried to convey all things unsaid in her embrace, making sure Santana felt that Brittany had missed her just as much, if not more, in her absence.

As Santana walked inside, Brittany sat back down for a long while, taking in everything that had just transpired. Happy as she was to see her friend again, she couldn't help but feel that something was very wrong. She also hadn't failed to notice Santana's valiant attempt to keep Brittany locked out, so she sat up for a long while devising a plan to earn her place back on Santana's side of the wall.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: This chapter is more of a filler. I'm trying to establish re-connection between Santana and Brittany without having them jump in to things too fast. As such, there isn't a whole lot of plot in this chapter, but a lot of interaction; I hope it isn't too boring.**

**Out of Kindness**

**Chapter Three**

Brittany was startled from a heavy slumber the next morning by the sound of violent buzzing. The noise of the phone vibrating on the nightstand was much more intrusive than the sound of the alarm tone itself. As she slowly regained her senses, yet kept her eyes closed to shield them from the morning light, she felt the warm body of her boyfriend cuddled up behind her. The arm draped over her waist showed no sign of moving and the breaths she could hear coming from behind remained slow and even.

"Charlie," She mumbled but got no response so tried again, louder this time. "Charlie!" Still nothing, yet the buzzing caused her to become increasingly irritated. She retracted her arm and jammed her elbow into the ribs of the body behind her and the effect was instantaneous. She heard a sharp intake of breath and felt his body stiffen.

"Ow, Britt?" Charlie was confused and dazed but now very awake.

"Your alarm, Charlie, please, for the love of god make it stop," Brittany mumbled out as she withdrew the pillow from under her head and placed it over her face.

Charlie was still somewhat confused but, did as she asked. Sitting up, he reached over to the nightstand on his side of the bed, picked up his phone and turned the alarm off.

"Shit. What was I thinking? I must have set my alarm a half hour late last night. Why would I do that? Shit, shit, shit..." He dashed out of bed and headed straight for the bathroom leaving Brittany in peace.

She dozed off into a half sleep so that she could wake up slowly in her own time. If there was one thing Brittany hated, it was being rushed awake. She liked to let her dreams linger for a little while longer and wait until all feelings of sleepiness had left her body before she opened her eyes. Even on the mornings she had to get up early, she would set her alarm twenty minutes before she was due to get up just so she could lay in bed and greet the day in her own time.

Rolling onto her back, Brittany spread her legs out under the sheets, moving them back and forth as if she were making a snow angel. She opened her eyes slowly, sat up stretched her arms over her head and let a smile play on her lips because, despite the intrusion to her sleep moments ago, she was confident that today was going to be a good day.

Brittany made her way to the kitchen, poured herself an orange juice and sat up on the countertop letting her legs hang over the edge, swinging them lazily underneath her. Minutes later she was joined in the kitchen by a very corporate looking Charlie who walked up to her and placed his hands on her thighs.

"Bye, Honey, I have to go. Running a little late this morning," He said before placing a chaste peck on his girlfriend's lips.

"Okay, see-ya tonight. Will you be home for dinner? It's not like I'll cook or anything but if we order something should I order for you, too?"

"No, that's alright. We're in the middle of a massive deal, so chances are I'll be working late tonight. Okay, gotta go. Have a good day, bye." He tapped her playfully on the thigh as he walked away, picked up his bag and coat off the table and rushed out the door.

Staying where she was on the counter top, she sipped slowly on her juice, enjoying the sensation of the cool liquid gliding its way down her throat. With one last gulp she smacked her lips and placed the empty glass next to her. She let herself fall gracefully fall off the countertop landing steadily on her feet and slowly sauntered back down the hall.

Stopping once she got to the door of the guest room, which had been left slightly ajar, she softly pushed it open. Leaning her shoulder against the door frame, Brittany lazily crossed her arms and smiled at the sight in front of her. Santana was laying on her side with one arm up under the pillow and the other hugging the blanket close to her as though it were a teddy bear. The blanket was all bunched up in front of her and one of legs was bent at the knee and draped over the bulk of blanket.

Santana had the most peaceful look on her face, vastly contrasting the expression she had held the night before, and Brittany couldn't help but be drawn towards her. She walked over to the side of the bed that Santana wasn't occupying and gently slid under the cover. It felt natural to be laying next to her because, really, they had slept next to one another far too many times to count.

Brittany felt Santana's body unconsciously shift a little closer, so she rolled on her side to face the brunette, grabbing hold of the arm that had been hugging the blanket and pulled it softly towards her. The comfort of the closeness gave Brittany a sense of warmth that lulled her back into a peaceful slumber.

XxXx

Santana sleepily opened her eyes and jumped with a start after noticing another body in her bed. She saw blonde hair splayed out in front of her and a pair of pale, slender hands lazily gripping her own left arm, she laid her head back down and smiled at the sleeping blonde. Watching her sleep gave her a surreal yet comforted feeling. For a large chunk of her life, Santana had woken up to this very sight and it made her feel at home again, almost whole. The fact that Brittany had been missing from her life for almost a decade also provoked a feeling of unease within her.

Santana knew Brittany; she knew who she was, but how much had she changed in the time they'd spent apart? Was she still the same girl, beautiful on the inside and out, who Santana could trust with her deepest secrets? She felt the strongest feelings of nostalgia being in the presence of this girl once more and it brought about a certain lack of control which scared her to death. On the one hand, Santana wanted to protect herself with all the resources she held within, yet she couldn't help but feel the heaviness of her burdens weighing her down, begging to be shared.

Santana was pulled from her reverie when the very blonde clouding her thoughts began to stir. Brittany opened her eyes and found warm, dark eyes and a smiling face looking back at her.

"You're awake," Brittany said with a lazy smile.

"Mmhmm, just when did you sneak into my bed?"

"Earlier this morning, just after Charlie went to work. I came in to wake you up and annoy you so we could start the day but then you looked so peaceful and all cuddly, I couldn't help myself. I didn't even mean to fall asleep, but I'm glad I did. Did you sleep okay?"

Santana just smiled at Brittany's tendency to give long-winded answers to simple questions. Waking up like this was just like stepping back in time; Santana always marvelled at the way Brittany would greet the day with so much vigour and enthusiasm.

"I slept fine, Britty. What do you mean start the day? You have something planned?"

"Well..." She drew a breath, readying herself for another long answer. "I woke up earlier craving juice, I kind of always do that when I've had a little to drink the night before. So, when I got up I got some orange juice from the refrigerator but that totally didn't satisfy the craving, you know?"

Santana nodded, wondering where she was going with this. Watching her ramble was so like watching a teenage Brittany Peirce; as though nothing had changed.

"But," Brittany continued, "that's because I know what I really feel like; a fresh juice from this awesome juice bar across the road from my favourite beach. So I was thinking, juice and then a couple of hours at the beach sunbaking and swimming. Oh, and you're coming with me, you have no choice in the matter."

Santana let out a throaty laugh through her nose.

"Sounds like you have it all figured out. I'm in."

"I know you're in, I just said you don't have a choice," Brittany deadpanned, but gave her a playful wink and a goofy grin a second later.

XxXx

"God, you weren't kidding Britt; best juice ever." Santana took a long sip of her juice while sitting on her beach towel, watching the waves crash on the shoreline.

"So delicious," Brittany responded. "It's the way the way they blend it with like, a ton of ice. It's kind of like a slushy, but fruity."

"Yeah, it's amazing. I love the way they top the straw with pieces of fruit. It's almost like getting a complementary meal with your beverage."

"I know, right. What did you get again?" Brittany asked.

"Number 23, I think it was mango-passion or something. Want some?" Santana held her cup towards Brittany, gesturing for her to take it.

"Yeah, here have some of mine."

The girls swapped drinks, both humming in appreciation of the taste.

"So, San," Brittany started after she cleared a second mouthful of Santana's drink. "What was with the sudden move here? Are you on the run from the law? Did you break up with a boyfriend?"

Santana squawked out a laugh.

"Funny Britt, obviously being on the run from the law is far more likely than me even having a boyfriend to break up with."

"What do you mean?" Brittany asked, glancing at her friend with a quizzical expression.

"Haha...wait, are you serious?" Santana looked over the rim of her sunglasses at Brittany. "You know that I'm...that I'm gay, right?"

"What!" Brittany exclaimed, sitting up suddenly and turning to face the brunette squarely. After taking a moment to stare pensively at Santana, she spoke again. "I'm actually not all that surprised though. Remember how we used to make out all the time? But instead of calling it 'making out' we'd say 'sweet lady kisses'."

Santana flushed red at the memory and the fact that Brittany was bringing up something she thought was going to be left unsaid.

"Yeah...maybe we shouldn't tell Charlie about that. I honestly thought you knew."

"Obviously not, considering I just asked you about boyfriends." Brittany still looked somewhat bewildered, her eyebrows knitted together and her lips pursed slightly.

"You don't care, do you Britt?" Santana was starting to get a little self conscious after taking in the expression on her friends face.

"Care?" Brittany asked with her eyebrows now raised as Santana's voice pulled her from her thoughts.

"About me...being gay?" Santana responded, looking down at the sand, averting her eyes from Brittany's gaze.

"No, god no! I'm just a little annoyed...Not at you," she added when she noticed Santana starting to form a hurt expression on her face. "Charlie should have said something. We fought about you coming to stay, I mean, before I knew you were you obviously. He said you were a girl that he was super close with in college and spoke about you like you were some old flame. He didn't even correct me when I said that and just let me get all jealous but told me I was acting crazy. Why didn't he just say 'my lesbian friend from college is coming to stay' and there wouldn't have even been any argument?"

"Wait, stop right there. He didn't tell you?" Santana asked incredulously.

"No, Santana, I just said that. Are you even listening?"

"It was a rhetorical question, Britt. He goddamn lied to me. But, why? I called him before I came and asked if you were okay with me coming. He said that you freaked a little at first but then he explained to you that I'm a lesbian which is what made you come around. Why would he lie about that?"

"Why would he not say anything when he knew it would have made me feel a whole lot more comfortable with you coming to stay? And the way that he implied that the two of you used to sleep together..."

"Yeah, about that..." Santana bit the corner of her lip and glanced at Brittany, whose eyebrows were so far raised that they almost disappeared into her hairline. "It was only a couple of times in freshman year, and I used to sleep with like, everybody back then anyway." Santana looked down, as though she were embarrassed by the words she had spoken. "Sorry, Britt."

Brittany's face softened as she took in Santana's expression. She reached a hand out and put it on Santana's knee.

"S'okay, San. It's way in the past and before Charlie and I even knew each other. _And_ you're flaming gay so, who cares?" She playfully pushed her friend's legs before grabbing her arm and pulling her up as she stood. "C'mon, let's get in the water. It's like, a million degrees on this beach."

After shedding their clothes until they were just wearing bikini's, Brittany ran, pulling Santana behind her all the way to the water's edge. She then dropped her friend's hand as she ran into the waves and dove under the whitewash while Santana stood in ankle deep water, testing the temperature.

"Coming in?" Brittany asked as she re-emerged.

"It's a little chilly."

Brittany walked slowly and nonchalantly back in the direction of where the brunette stood, whilst ringing some of the salt water out of her hair. When she got close enough to Santana, she jumped at her, throwing her arms around her thighs and hoisting her on to her shoulder. Santana squealed in surprise and Brittany jogged deeper into the water, struggling a little under the extra weight.

"Of course it's going to be chilly if you stand there inching your way in." Brittany chided.

"Put me down, Britt." Santana said through panicked laughter, knowing it was a hopeless request.

As expected, Brittany didn't listen but kept jogging deeper, so Santana decided the only thing to do was to fight back. Reaching her hand down, she grabbed the waistband of the electric-blue bikini Brittany was wearing and reefed it up as high as she could and didn't let go.

"I swear to god, Brittany, if you don't put me down, it's gonna take days to fish your bikini out of your ass cheeks."

The sensation of the wedgie caused Brittany to gasp in surprised and laugh uncontrollably. It only took a couple more strides for her legs to give out and the both of them fell into an oncoming wave, becoming completely submerged.

Santana came up spluttering.

"Briiiitt!" She whined.

"You wedgied me?" Brittany said, still surprised yet amused.

"What else was I supposed to do? Have you ever known me to give in without a fight?"

At that, Brittany splashed her square in the face, rousing the Latina who took a giant leap at her friend. The two wrestled playfully in the water until Brittany came up gasping for air.

"Okay, truce!" The blonde said, holding one hand up in the air and extending her pinky.

"Truce," Santana responded, wrapping Brittany's pinky finger in her own and giving it a subtle shake before letting it go.

The two of them waded lazily in the shallows for a couple of minutes, still trying to catch their breath, before they headed back up to lie down on their towels.

"I swear I'm still trying to get the rest of my bikini out, it's like, stuck up there."

"Told ya," Santana said with a self satisfied smirk.

They laid in a comfortable silence, both on their backs, the beads of water glistening on their skin as the sun beamed its warmth down on them.

"Today's been nice, San. Hanging out with you, I mean." Brittany looked over at her friend, tracing her features with her eyes. "It's almost like we were never apart because it just feels so normal." This caused Santana to smile and hum in agreement.

Brittany let her eyes subtly wander some more over the brunettes body, glad she had sunglasses to disguise her leering because something caught her attention. The tops of Santana's thighs were littered with white marks; old scars. Some of which thin and barely evident, some were thick, deep and prominent. All of the scars were straight, horizontal lines, many in neat rows as though she were bar-coded, like she had marked herself as a product to be sold.

_What happened to you? _Brittany thought as she studied the scars.

"San?"

"Hmm"

"Remember last night, when you said you missed me when I was gone?"

"Uhh, yeah," Santana said a little shakily, as though she were a little embarrassed the Brittany was mentioning it.

"I missed you too, and I want us to be close again," Brittany said turning her head to the side to fully look at her friend

"Yeah, me too, Britt," Santana smiled softly as she spoke, hoping she'd be able to let her guard down enough to appease Brittany, silently praying for the guts not to escape when things became too real.


	4. Chapter 4

**Out of Kindness**

**Chapter Four**

After the girls left the beach, the rest of the day was spent exploring parts of Los Angeles. Brittany showed off some of her favourite places while Santana took pictures of almost anything and everything. When they eventually got home, they were both well and truly spent so, after eating the dinner that Santana had cooked, Brittany fell into bed. Santana, on the other hand waited up.

She was sitting at the kitchen table, hair in a messy-bun and with her black-rimmed glasses resting upon her face. With her laptop on the table in front of her, Santana was busy sifting through the photographs she had taken that day when she landed on the one particular picture she was dying to edit and perfect. It had been taken at Venice Beach and, in the frame, there was an older man busking on his electric guitar. The guitar itself was decorated in a red and white hypnotic swirl and the man had such a concentrated look on his face as his fingers danced along the strings. The background was out of focus, and in it you could make out people going about their daily business. The only things that were crystal clear in the picture were the busking man, his guitar, and a dancing figure with blonde hair, captured mid-twirl.

The dancing blonde was, of course, Brittany who had stopped to put money in the guitar case and dance to the music this man was making. Santana had captured the moment so beautifully; Brittany held still in one frame, performing a circular twisting motion on her tippy toes, her arms held loosely near her mid-section and her hair splayed out in the air going in all directions. She held a look of sublime innocence on her face as the two of them danced together in their own world; he with his fingers on the strings, and her with her entire body barely gripping the asphalt.

"Awesome picture, San. Is that one of yours?"

Santana was startled at the sudden interruption to her concentration. Turning around she saw Charlie placing his bag down near the couch and taking his coat off.

"Hey, you scared me. I didn't hear you come in."

"I was trying to be quiet, I thought both of you would have been asleep by now."

"Brittany is. I stayed up to do some editing."

"So that is one of yours? " Charlie asked, now looking directly over her shoulder at the computer screen. "It's beautiful. Where did you take it?"

"Venice Beach. Britt spent the day showing me around... Take a seat, Charlie." Santana said, motioning to the seat across from her and closing her laptop.

He did as she requested and sat himself down in the chair.

"Are you hungry?" She asked him, getting up and walking into the kitchen.

"Starving. I was going to make a couple of grilled cheese sandwiches, something fast and easy."

Santana returned from the kitchen with a plate in one hand, the top of it covered with aluminium foil, and cutlery in the other.

"Here," she said, placing it down in front of Charlie. "Just be careful, the plate's hot. I kept it warm in the oven."

"Thanks!" Said Charlie, bewildered and thrilled all at once. He removed the covering from the dish to reveal some kind of Italian pasta. He took a generous bite from the meal and said, with his mouth quite full, "This is so good."

"Definitely better than grilled cheese, Charlie. You should be eating better."

"Yeah well, Brittany doesn't cook, so..."

"It isn't up to her to make sure you get fed, she isn't your keeper. Which reminds me of why I'm sitting up waiting for you."

"I thought you said you were editing your photos?" Charlie looked up, surprised at the sudden change in tone of the conversation.

"Yes, editing photos, while I waited for you to come home. So, let's get straight to the point, Charlie. You lied to me, and I want to know why. Because, truth be told, I'm a little pissed." She said as she cocked her head slightly to the side and sat back in her chair, crossing her arms over her chest.

"What? When?" He asked, almost incredulously.

"Do you remember this conversation? Charlie, have you told your girlfriend I'm coming? I don't want trouble. Oh, yes Santana. I told her you're a lesbian and she's fine with it all." Santana said, mocking Charlie's voice at the end. All the while he sat there in stunned silence.

"Well," she spoke again, "what do you have to say for yourself?"

Still he said nothing, looking down trying to gather his thoughts.

"And you had her believe that there was something more than friendship between us in the past. What's with that?"

"Okay I know this looks bad." Charlie finally spoke up. "This is something I didn't expect to be caught out on. I wasn't anticipating that you two would know each other."

"Look, it's not like it's a huge lie, it's just the fact that you lied. I don't understand what your angle is. Why are you trying to play games? If Britt and I didn't know each other and I was coming into the home the two of you share, and she sees me as a threat to your relationship...why would you put me in that position? Why would you deliberately make her feel uncomfortable?" Santana was speaking in a low and assertive tone, keeping her anger at bay but making it clear she was less than happy.

"It's not how you're making it seem. I guess I didn't really think about the position you'd be in, San. I'm sorry..." He trailed off.

"Explanations, now. My patience is running short."

"Okay, okay," Charlie said as he raised his hands in the air, though shifting uncomfortably in his chair as he searched for the words. "Like I said, I wasn't expecting you guys to know each other, you know? It's just...when I told her you were coming, and I was telling her a little bit about you and about our friendship, she kind of started to freak out on me."

"Oh, I see. Because the way to fix that is obviously to have her believe that I'm your ex-girlfriend. My bad, it must be my lesbian brain; I just don't understand the dynamics of a heterosexual relationship." Santana's voice was dripping with sarcasm.

"Would you stop and let me finish? This isn't easy to say." Charlie paused and Santana gave a slight nod of her head, prompting him to continue, though held a stony expression on her face. "I didn't make anything up about you and I. I didn't say you were an ex-girlfriend; she came to those conclusions on her own and I...just didn't correct her. It's just that...I don't know...her being jealous...it felt kind of nice."

Santana's brow furrowed dangerously and her lips parted, drawing a breath as though she were about to start yelling. But, Charlie continued before she had a chance.

"Hear me out okay. Brittany is the nicest person, you know that. She can just be so easy going, like nothing matters to her. It's like I could treat her any which way and she wouldn't bat an eye lid. But sometimes it just makes me feel like she doesn't care about me, or us. When you love someone, you're supposed to act a little crazy sometimes. You're supposed to challenge how they feel about you when you're a little insecure. You can't always help it. But, she never does. So having her be jealous over you, it was refreshing. In some weird, sadistic way, it made me feel loved by her. So, I went with it." By the time Charlie finished talking, his shoulders were slumped and his head hung low as he gazed at his own hands resting in his lap. He was ashamed.

"Okay, is it my turn to talk?" Santana asked, but continued talking without waiting for a response. "I've known you for a long time, Charlie and for the first time I can honestly say that I am so disappointed. I've seen you in a few serious relationships, I've seen you have more meaningless flings than I care to count, and I know exactly how you treat the women you're with. And don't think I don't know you this well, because I do, I observe things. I love you, Chuck, but you're an asshole to every girl you've been with." Santana paused, waiting for the words to seep in. "Normally I let you do your thing, whatever, it's none of my business. But this time is different; it's Brittany.

"You're right about one thing," Santana continued, "Brittany _is _the nicest person. A lot of the time, she can be too nice for her own good. She has the biggest heart of anyone I've ever met and people take advantage of that. When we were younger, Britt always had trouble standing up for herself, so I did it for her because she hates confrontation. I know that sometimes she seems nonchalant about almost everything, but that certainly doesn't mean she doesn't understand a situation or get hurt by someone else's words.

"Here's what I'm trying to say to you, Charlie. As much as I love you, I have loved her almost my whole life and spent much of that time protecting her from the assholes of the world. Ten years apart has changed nothing between us and I'm warning you right now. If you hurt her and I find out about it, which I will, the doctors will have a really hard time retracting your testacles from your insides, because that's how hard I will kick you. Now clean up your shitty act and treat her the way she deserves to be treated." Santana was now leaning forward slightly with her finger pointed towards Charlie, who was still refusing to make eye contact.

"Alright, I've said what I have to say. You finish your dinner, I'm going to bed." Santana stood from where she sat, reached over to pat Charlie affectionately on the head and make her way to the bedroom.

Just as she was about turn into her room, she stopped dead in the hallway, noticing a figure leaning against the doorframe. Brittany looked deep into Santana's eyes for a moment too long before wrapping her arms around the brunette.

"Thank-you," Brittany whispered in her ear. "I love you."

Brittany pulled back slowly from the embrace and Santana raked her eyes over the features of her friend, noticing the glassy eyes above tear stained cheeks.

"Britt?" She questioned in a small whisper, brushing her hand over the blonde's cheek.

Brittany just glanced down, offering a small smile and taking Santana's hand gently in her own. She leaned in and lightly brushed her lips against Santana's forehead before walking across the hall to her own bedroom.

XxXx

_The summer air drifted through the open window, causing the curtain to sway in the dark. Brittany lay sprawled out on her bed and, despite it being two o'clock in the morning, sleep still eluded her. She rolled from one side of the bed to the other trying to find a cooler space to occupy. Even though it was only early June, summer had hit with full force and the nights as well as the days were almost unbearably hot._

_ Brittany was about to roll over in her bed once more when a strange scraping noise from outside caught her attention. She pulled herself up on her elbows, wondering if she had imagined it, when she heard a different sound again. Just as she was about to get up to investigate, Brittany saw a leg stretch through her open window, then an arm and shoulder, followed by the rest of the body they belonged to. Lacking finesse, the body stumbled and fell to the wooden floor of the bedroom._

_ "Santana?" Brittany questioned as she jumped out of bed to help her up._

_ Santana remained silent, laying still, her face nuzzling into the floorboards and a brunette mess of hair, untamed, acting as a veil. Brittany took two swift strides and knelt next to her friend, taking hold of her hand and attempting to pull her up into a standing position. Santana, responding to the prompt, stood on unsteady feet and made her way over to the bed. Without a word, she lowered herself beneath the covers and curled herself into the foetal position._

_ Brittany grew increasingly uneasy at the sight before her. Santana had never snuck into her room at night; she didn't have to. The girls were always welcome at one another's houses, it was never an issue no matter what time of day or night it was. Brittany knelt next to her on the bed and ran a hand over her friend's forehead, but Santana was still unresponsive._

_ "San, what's the matter?"_

_ Nothing. Brittany slid under the sheets, wrapped an arm tightly around Santana's waist and tried to look at her face in the darkness. Santana's eyes were open and unfocused, her face lacking any kind of expression. Her mouth was slightly ajar as she breathed in and out and Brittany could detect the subtle stench of vomit on her breath. Even though her skin was warm, her body trembled._

_ "San? Honey, you're shaking." Brittany said as she pulled Santana in closer to her._

_ Santana did respond this time by burying her face in Brittany's neck, melting into her friend. Even though her body still trembled beyond control, she drew comfort from the embrace as Brittany gently shushed her whilst stroking her hair. _

_ The sky beyond the window had slowly begun to turn grey and the stars disappeared, indicating to Brittany that at least a couple of hours had passed and neither of them had moved from their moulded position. But, only now was Santana's shivering form beginning to still and her breaths were becoming deeper and less controlled. She must have fallen asleep and so Brittany allowed herself finally to drift off._

_ When Brittany roused from slumber, the sun now blazing through the window, it was to an empty bed. She shot up in bed, bleary eyed from lack of sleep, yet very aware that Santana should have been lying next to her. Standing from where she sat, she walked out of the room in search of her friend and found her Grandmother sitting on the couch in the living room._

_ "Grandma, have you seen Santana this morning?"_

_ "Yeah, she's in the shower. Been in there for a while though. Is everything alright, Britt, honey?"_

_ "I'm not so sure, Gran, why do you ask?"_

_ "Santana was up early, before I got up. I found her sitting at the kitchen table staring off into space, nursing a cold cup of coffee that she'd barely touched. I didn't get much out of her, which isn't like her, normally she's so talkative."_

_ "I don't know what's going on...I'll go see if she's okay." Brittany walked over to her Grandma, kissed her on the head before making her way back down the hall towards the bathroom._

_ Brittany stood in front of the closed door, her fist held in mid-air as she hesitated to knock. Everything that had happened in the past few hours was, in a word, strange. The entire situation was making Brittany feel very uneasy._

_ "San?" Brittany said, eventually rapping lightly on the door._

_ After several seconds lapsed, Santana responded._

_ "Uhhm...yeah, I'll be out in a minute. Do you need to use the bathroom?"_

_ "Can I come in?" Brittany asked through the wood of the closed door._

_ "I'll be out in a minute." Santana repeated and Brittany could hear the shower being turned off._

_ Moments later, the brunette emerged from the bathroom, steam billowing behind her, strands of wet hair sticking to her face and a white towel wrapped around her olive skin. She looked at Brittany, but avoided meeting her eyes._

_ "All yours," she said, gesturing behind her and offering a small smile._

_ "That's ok, I woke up and you were gone so I was just checking to see if you were in there...umm, there's a lot of steam in the bathroom. You hate hot showers, even in the winter?" Brittany pointed out as she followed Santana back into the bedroom._

_ "Yeah...I just felt like I needed to get warm. Maybe I have a fever or something." Santana said, still not meeting Brittany's eyes. "Can I maybe borrow something to wear? I didn't bring anything with me."_

_ "Sure," Brittany responded before going over to her drawers and pulling out a pair of denim shorts, some underwear and an oversized t-shirt. _

_ "Here," she said, handing the folded pile to Santana who was sitting on the bed with her back to Brittany, lost in her own thoughts. The blonde sat next to her friend and pulled her damp body into her. Once again, Santana melted into the embrace, this time allowing tears to overcome her._

_ "Please, don't ask me," is all she could manage to say._

_ This did nothing to ease Brittany's worried mind but she knew better than to push the topic. Santana was like a duck in a pond at times. If you're still enough and wait patiently, she'll come to you eventually. If you chase her, she'll fly away scared and never come back._

_ If Brittany were to push Santana for the information she clearly didn't want to give, then chances are she'd build her walls too high for the blonde to climb. Brittany knew that, if she were patient enough, Santana would tell her eventually._

_ "Okay, baby," she said, holding her as tight as she could. "You can tell me anything, but wait until you're ready. I love you so much."_

_ Santana just sobbed into Brittany's neck and clung to her as though her life depended on it._


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: I know this is a fairly small chapter, but all the alerts I've been getting on the story prompted me and this pretty much wrote itself. Promise I'll update again soon. Also, just after some feedback on the flashback components in a couple of the chapters. Is it too confusing going back and forth like that or should I keep doing them?**

**Out of Kindness**

**Chapter Five**

Brittany wasn't woken by any alarm this morning. Instead it was the needy kisses of her boyfriend on her neck that pulled her slowly from sleep.

"Morning," she mumbled sleepily.

"Hey, beautiful." Charlie kept kissing down her neck and exploring her body with his hands from behind.

Brittany turned onto her back to face Charlie, who was now hovering above her. The lustful look on his face told her that his affections only meant one thing.

"You're in a good mood this morning." She stated.

"Well, you were asleep when I got home last night. I've missed you." He said as he continued placing kisses wherever he could reach and attempting to undress her.

"Charlie, do we have to this morning?" Brittany asked, making a slight attempt to stop his ministrations.

"C'mon, Britt."

"I just...want to talk to you about something."

"What is it?" He asked in slight annoyance as he pulled his face from her neck to look into her eyes.

"It's about Santana." She said looking back up at him.

"What about her?" Charlie asked, exhaling heavily.

"Can you tell me everything you can about her in the time you've known her? And about high school if you know anything. I want to know everything I've missed out on."

"Ask her yourself, Britt. C'mon, I'm trying to make love to my girlfriend before I have to leave for work. The very last thing I want to be doing right now is talking about someone else." He said in a voice laced with irritation.

"Fine," is all Brittany could say before his lips were on hers.

If anyone asked, Charlie would say he made love to his girlfriend that morning; Brittany would just call it sex. He touched her with hurried hands, barely stimulating her before he drove himself into her in a needy and desperate fashion. She knew what was appropriate. She carried on the moment between them with well placed hands rubbing on his back, subtly grazing him with her fingernails. She knew what noises to make to ensure he really enjoyed himself; breathy moans exhaled directly into his ear, becoming higher in pitch as his pace became more frantic. She moved her hips in the way she knew he liked, a way she knew would get him off faster. And he did. He collapsed in a heap on top of her, still moving slightly inside her and riding out his high as he exhaled heavily.

"I love being in you," he said into her ear and sucked her neck lightly.

Brittany responded by wrapping her arms tightly him and kissing him hard on the mouth. She waited for him to pull out and head for the shower, before she curled herself back into the sheets and pretended to sleep.

After only a few minutes, Charlie came back into the bedroom and dressed himself while Brittany kept her eyes closed. She sensed him moving closer to the bed and felt the side of the bed dip under his hand. He leaned over her placing a feather-light kiss on her cheek.

"Bye, baby." He breathed against her. "I'll see you tonight. Love you." Another kiss was placed on her cheek before he left the bedroom closing the door behind him.

Brittany waited a few moments, ensuring that Charlie had indeed left, before getting out of bed. Once she did, she headed straight to the shower so that she could wash herself clean of this morning's events.

Lately, she couldn't shake the feeling of disgust from herself whenever she had sex with her boyfriend. She wasn't sure if it was the act itself, or the physical lies she told that disgusted her the most. Every desperate kiss, every lingering touch, every moan that passed her lips, were all a fallacy to make him believe beyond a doubt that she was enjoying it as much as he was. Because she couldn't decide what was worse; a lie to tempt a smile, or a truth to draw a tear on a face she'd learned to care about so deeply.

Once she emerged from the shower, shaking her head clear of the thoughts that clouded her, she dressed herself in a fresh pair of pyjamas and headed back to bed. But, not her bead, not the one she had shared with Charlie for the past year. Instead, without any hesitation or second thought, she walked into Santana's room, lowered herself under the covers of the bed and cuddled close to the brunette who lay there sleeping soundly.

XxXx

For the second morning straight, Santana had woken to find a familiar blonde beauty in her bed. This time, she sensed her presence before even opening her eyes. She smelled the familiar scent of sweet oranges and cinnamon that was her shampoo, and the subtle, salty musk of her skin that was so distinctly Brittany. She felt the warmth coming from the body next to her; a warmth that radiated through to her very insides making her feel so at home. Santana lay there with her eyes closed for a few moments, enjoying the sensation that was waking up next to Brittany, until she heard a small giggle escape from the girl next to her.

"What's so funny, Britt-Britt? Am I drooling?" Santana asked, still keeping her eyes closed.

"I didn't know you were awake. Actually you were drooling a little, but that isn't what I'm laughing at." Brittany stated and threw her arm lazily over Santana's waist.

"Well, enlighten me." Santana opened her eyes to look at her friend and shuffled a little closer.

"I was laying here for a little while and I started to get hungry. I kind of have this weird craving for omelettes this morning. So I was thinking about that, and then I remembered when your Mom had her family coming over for breakfast that time. She like two dozen eggs and was planning on making...what is that omelette thingy she always used to make?"

"Huevos montulenos," Santana chuckled, knowing precisely where this conversation was headed.

"That's right!" Brittany continued, "And remember the night before? We hard boiled all of the eggs as a joke and put them back in the refrigerator." Brittany was now laughing as she spoke and Santana was struggling to maintain composure. "Do you remember being woken up by her yelling out from downstairs 'who the hell hard-boiled all of my huevos!'" Brittany called out, raising her hands in the air for emphasis and trying her best to imitate a thick Hispanic accent.

Santana was now laughing uncontrollably at her friend's impression of her mother.

"We got into so much trouble for that. She was so pissed off." Santana said, wiping her eyes.

"God, we were such a handful!"

"I know. We always knew how to have fun though. Consequences were always half the fun."

"How is your Mom, San? I miss your family."

"She's good I think. It's been a long time since I've seen her. I speak to her every so often. Still the same I guess..."

"Oh..." Brittany was unsure of how to continue from here. She wanted to ask, to pry, but wasn't sure if Santana would allow it. "Why has it been so long? The way you were with your Mama Lo', I thought you would have stayed close with her."

"Yeah well, you left a really long time ago, Britt; things change. And I haven't been back home in years." Santana said gently, yet averting her eyes from Brittany's unwavering gaze.

"Does she not like that you're a lesbian?"

"It's not that," Santana chuckled slightly.

"Well? Why haven't you been back home?"

"Please don't ask me, Britts." Santana pleaded.

Brittany took in a small gasp at those familiar words. She was reminded of the last summer they spent together. It was the summer she watched Santana fall apart on the inside and hide behind a thick veil of walls while Brittany waited patiently for her friend to let her in. She never got the chance to find the pieces to Santana's puzzle before she was unceremoniously whisked away by her mother to a far away state.

Brittany lifted her hand to place it on Santana's cheek, all the while searching her eyes for something, anything that would give her answers to the questions she wasn't allowed to ask.

"San, do you have any idea how much I missed this. Laying with you, being near you. It feels just like coming home."

Santana shot her friend a lazy smile that didn't quite reach her eyes.

"Why didn't you ever come back like you promised? Even to visit in the holidays?" She asked nervously.

"My mom wouldn't let me," Brittany answered slowly. "Remember how her and my grandparents kept fighting over the fact that she was trying to take me away. In the end they hated each other and over time my mom convinced me that my grandparents hated me too and wanted nothing to do with me."

"Britty, you know that's not true," Santana said, making sure to look straight into Brittany's eyes. "Your grandparents love you."

"I know that now that I'm older, but at the time I believed it. And I felt abandoned. It hurt too much try to contact you. My Mom took my phone away and gave me a new one but I couldn't even remember your phone number, you know how hopeless I am with numbers and remembering things. The only way I could get hold of you was through my grandparents and I believed they didn't want to know me. Because that's what my mother drilled into my head."

"Where is she now?"

"Who knows? We're kind of estranged now. Even though I speak to her on the odd occasion, she never quite forgave me for jumping ship."

"What do you mean?"

"Senior year, she wanted me to move again. I'd been to five different high schools in three and a half years. I was halfway through my senior year and she wanted me to up and leave yet again. But I was in a really good dance programme, I was a cheerleader; I'd kind of found my niche at this school. I'd turned 18 a couple months before, so I told her that she could follow 'Soldier Tom' all around the country but I was staying where I was. I got a job, a place to live and I finished out my senior year in Arizona before moving out here."

"Britt..." Santana choked out but couldn't continue for the tears she'd started to cry.

"San, it's okay." Brittany pulled her arm tightly around Santana's waist, pulling her closer so that they were practically laying flush against one another.

"I'm so sorry, Britt, I had no idea. That must have been so hard. I resented you a little bit you know..."

"Resented me? Why?"

"Because you got to get out of Lima, left me behind. I was so angry at you for that all through high school. I just thought you'd moved on and were loving life in Florida while I was hating life in Ohio...without you. I'm so sorry..." Santana trailed off, casting her eyes downward to hide the shame that lingered in her words.

"It's alright, San. I just want you to know that I missed you with everything I had." Brittany closed the tiny gap between them, resting her forehead upon Santana's. Being in her presence like this, sharing parts of themselves with each other, sharing physical contact, it made Brittany's heart race and head spin. Without thinking what she was doing, almost like her body was acting of its own accord, she tilted her face inward and captured Santana's lips in her own.

Brittany sucked lovingly on Santana's bottom lip, savouring her taste, as she moved her hand to the back of her neck and tangled her fingers in amongst the brunette locks.

Santana kissed her back, with fervour, resting her hand on Brittany's cheek and squeezing her eyes shut as tight as she could. Their bodies pressed into each other, trying to get closer still, almost as if they were attempting to melt into one another.

By the time they pulled apart, both of them had tears brimming in their eyes. Each of them stared deeply into the other, daring for one of them to break the silence.

"I've missed your sweet lady kisses," Brittany said breathlessly, without attempting a smile.

"Yeah, me too. But we can't do this, Britt."

"Because of Charlie?"

"Yeah..."

"You and I are different though, we're special. I finally have you back, things are going back to normal between us. Making out _is _normal for us. Can't it be like it used to? Friends talking with their tongues super close?"

"We were so young then, Britt. We acted on our impulses back then, without understand what we were feeling."

Brittany leaned in and kissed her once more; Santana didn't fight it.

"Nothing about this feels wrong though." Brittany mumbled against her lips.

Santana kissed her back and smiled sweetly at her as she peeled her face away.

"C'mon Britt-Britt, I'll make you some eggs. I can practically feel your stomach growling against me."

"No, that's just the rocket in my pocket," Brittany responded, shooting her friend a suggestive wink and a goofy grin.

Santana just laughed as she pulled Brittany up out of bed.

"We'll talk about this after we eat," Santana said, sternly, while she dragged Brittany down the hall towards the kitchen.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N I'm not sure how happy I am with this chapter, I got a little stuck on it. But the show must go on...**

**P.S I've had a lot of requests to continue with the one-shot of I Cherish You, Too. I'm thinking on it, so hopefully I can deliver :)**

**Out of Kindness**

**Chapter Six**

"Here we go, Britts. Huevos, Santana Lopez style," the Latina said as she placed a plate down in front of Brittany, holding two forks in her hand and sitting in the seat next to her.

"Oh my God, the memories!" Brittany exclaimed excitedly. "Do you know how many times I've tried to make this and failed, miserably." She took the first mouthful and hummed in blissful appreciation. "I swear you make the best cheesy omelette ever."

"It's only good when you share it, because that way you can make it bigger and put loads of cheese in it without throwing off the ratio." Santana said, picking up her fork and digging into the shared plate.

"Maybe it's just better when I get to share it with you."

Santana stopped chewing mid-mouthful, glancing over at her friend, but Brittany continued talking, saving her from trying to think of a response.

"What do you have to do today?"  
>"I don't know. I still have a few more days until I have to meet with my new boss, so I might get some editing done today. Maybe I'll start looking for a place..."<p>

"A place for what?" Brittany asked.

"For me to live, Britt."

"I don't get it; aren't you living here?"

"No, Britt, I'm just _staying_ here. It was all arranged as a temporary thing, until I find my own place." Santana said, taking another mouthful and looking over at Brittany.

"I don't want you to live somewhere else though. I just got you back, you can't leave," Brittany said with a perfectly heartbreaking pout. "Just stay here, pleeeaasse. C'mon, San, Charlie's always working anyway and I get bored and lonely. Besides, this is my house and I want you in it!"

"Okay, okay," Santana said through a chuckle, holding her palm up to Brittany's face in an attempt to stop the persuasive rambling. "I'll stay, but we have to talk to Charlie about it, it's only fair...and, what happened this morning, Britt...we can't keep doing that okay. It isn't fair to him, he doesn't deserve that."

"Do what? I don't know what you're talking about...Wait," Brittany shuffled closer to the brunette and started trailing light kisses from the juncture of Santana's neck all the way to her ear where she whispered directly into it, "are you referring to our sweet, sweet lady kisses?"

Santana's eyes fluttered closed at the action and she inadvertently cocked her head the side to allow Brittany greater access.

"Britt..." It came out as more of a moan than a protest, but she eventually regained her composure. "Stop, Brittany. It's not right, I can't do that to him. We aren't just two seemingly straight teenagers making out for kicks because we don't know any better. What would you do if you came home and found Charlie and I sucking face? Aside from the fact that I'm one hundred and fifty percent gay and the thought of it makes me want to dry-heave, it's really no different."

Santana was looking straight into Brittany's sapphire eyes as she spoke with a gentle yet firm tone.

"You're right, San. I'm sorry..." Brittany spoke sadly, averting her eyes.

"Britt, look at me," Santana brought her palm up to Brittany's cheek in an attempt to lock her gaze with the blonde once more. "It's not that I don't want to kiss you, God knows I want to. Having you back in my life has me feeling kind of...really confused about a lot of things. It's like, whatever I felt for you when we were teenagers is coming back at full force and whether I was too young to recognise it, or just not mature enough to handle it, I don't know. But now I'm older, and you're here and I'm just...so confused. But then, there's Charlie...and Brittany, he's been too good to me. I can't do this to him behind his back. Do you understand?"

"Yeah," She nodded her head slightly, with tears glimmering in her eyes. "I'm sorry I put you in that position, I wasn't thinking about the consequences. But, just so you know, everything you just said is everything I'm feeling too."

"So what does it mean?"

"I can't answer that, Santana. I guess we'll find out in our own time."

"Yeah, I guess so...but we'll only be confusing ourselves more if we start being all affectionate with each other. And there's Charlie..."

"You said that." Brittany was smirking playfully at Santana.

"Yeah," she breathed out in response.

"So...you and Charlie. Just how close were the two of you, back in the day?"

"Not anywhere near as close as he would have had you believe." Santana gave Brittany a pointed look. "We became really good friends at the end of freshman year, around the time that I came out."

"But you slept with him? Wasn't that before you came out?" Brittany asked, tilting her head to the side.

"Yeah, Britts, it was before. Like I said yesterday, I slept with a lot of guys back then. It's definitely not something I'm proud of, but the past is just that, I can't change it. I just kind of grew to learn that sex was expected of me, however wrong that sounds, it's just what I believed for a big part of my adolescence."

Brittany stayed silent, prompting with her eyes for Santana to continue.

"Charlie was actually one of the last guys I ever had sex with. He came into my life at a time when...all I really needed was a friend. I couldn't have asked for a truer friend at the time, Britt. He's actually the first person I came out to, and I guess you could say, he really helped me find myself. I owe a lot to Charlie."

"How so?"

"He just...was a really good friend to me, that's all," Santana said as she stood to clear the empty plate from the table and taking it over to the sink. "I'm going to go shower my stinking self, 'kay Britty?"

Santana glanced in the blonde's direction, offering a brief smile before making her way to the bathroom. Brittany just watched her leave with a bemused look on her face, recognising Santana's escape route all too well.

XxXx

_"Miss Lopez...Santana, can you hear me?"_

_ Santana could hear the muffled voice, trying to hone in on it but it felt as though she were trying to decipher voices from the next room with her ear pressed against the wall. She felt a slight pressure on her face as one of her eyelids was pried open by foreign fingertips, the smell of latex gloves invading her nostrils. She tried to squint against the bright flash of light that suddenly penetrated her pupil but, in an instant the fingertips released their hold. The same intrusion was thrust upon the other eye before finding the comfort of darkness once more, even though the muffled voices continued to speak around her._

_ "Patient is responsive, keep her on twenty minute observations for the rest of the night and the doctor on duty can look her over in the morning."Santana tried to focus on her unfamiliar surroundings but found herself being pulled away into a dreamless state of unconsciousness. _

_ She awoke with a sluggish start; her eyelids were heavy and begging not to be opened and, when she did, her head pounded. She tried to sit up a little and noticed a tube coming out of her right arm, attached by a needle sticking into the back of her hand and leading to a clear bag attached to what looked like a coat stand on wheels. Santana ran her hands along the stiff white sheets among which she was laying and looked around at the sterile room she occupied, confusion masking her face._

_ "What the f-" She tried to whisper to herself but found the pain of trying to talk excruciating through her dry, raspy throat._

_ "Oh, you're awake." A young woman entered the room, pulling out a chart that was attached to the end of the bed. She walked over to Santana and applied a blood pressure monitor to her arm and proceeded to jot down notes on the chart._

_ "How do you feel?" The woman asked._

_ Santana opened her mouth to try and speak but, once again, found it too painful. The woman must have noticed the way Santana winced and placed her hand on her neck._

_ "Your throat may be a little sore for a couple of days. They had to pump your stomach, which can irritate the oesophagus quite a bit. Your probably feeling quite disorientated, I bet," She gave the Latina a sympathetic smile. "I'll page Dr. Ross and have her come speak with you." The woman turned to leave Santana on her own once again._

_ All Santana could do was nod in confusion, still trying desperately hard to decipher her reality. Pump stomach? Fleeting and fragmented images began to dance around in her mind, like she was sporting a lotto wheel in her brain that spun them around incessantly. All she had to do was grasp one of them that would act as a clue as to what the hell was going on, but all she received were many tiny flashes of incongruent memories._

_ "Good morning, Santana." She looked up to see who she would only presume was Dr. Ross; complete with long, white coat and stethoscope. "How are you feeling?"_

_ Santana could only shake her head from side to side, her mouth hanging slightly agape as she pointed lazily towards her throat._

_ "Ahh, yes it's common for the throat to feel sensitive after having your stomach pumped. Do you remember why you're here, Santana?"_

_ Once again, she shook her head whilst laying back on her pillow and looking up at the doctor like a scared little girl going for her first check-up._

_ "You're a very lucky young woman, Santana. You overdosed on a bottle of Aspirin that you chased with a bottle of Hennessey. Your boyfriend found you and called an ambulance just in time and the doctors in the Emergency Room were able to pump most of the contents from your stomach. Do you remember any of this? Do you remember taking the pills?"_

_ Santana tilted her head and looked at the doctor with a somewhat vague expression. The images that had been racing through her mind where beginning to click into place and form a cohesive chain. She was beginning to remember. In her mind she saw herself toying with the pill bottle, rolling it between her hands as she played with another pill on her tongue and stared at her sunken reflection in the mirror._

_ She nodded at the doctor, tears welling a little in her eyes._

_ "Were you attempting to end your life?"_

_ She nodded once more, casting her eyes down. Dr. Ross sat on the edge of the hospital bed that Santana occupied, placing a gentle hand on her knee._

_ "You also have some lacerations on both arms, some are superficial, but a few of them needed to be stitched. Did you do those to yourself, Santana?"_

_ And again she nodded, sullenly. _

_ "I'm sure you'll understand that, when a patient comes in who's attempted suicide, it's mandatory that they be seen by a psychologist to undergo an assessment. You're extremely lucky to be alive, Miss Lopez. If you're boyfriend hadn't have walked in when he did, you wouldn't be here."_

_ The woman stood from her sitting position on the bed, giving the young Latina a gentle pat on the leg before leaving the room._

_ Santana's mind was still swimming in confusion and lacking clarity. She remembered taking the pills and swallowing them amongst mouthfuls of Hennessey. She recalled staring at her reflection, wondering which side of the glass she was on and feeling so dead on the inside. Her sole purpose had been to end her the misery that plagued her; should she be happy she was saved? Should she feel as lucky as the doctor said she was? Maybe she didn't want to die, but she sure as hell didn't know how to live anymore._

_ She found herself drifting in and out of consciousness for an amount of time she had no desire to record. Pulled awake by nurses coming in and out every now and then to perform observations, lulled back to sleep by the bustling sounds of the hospital ward. Gradually, each time she woke, her head began to feel lighter and less clouded and with that feeling came a fresh sense of clarity and understanding; she'd attempted suicide, and because she'd been unsuccessful, she now had to deal with the consequences._

_ Santana was lost in her own thoughts and confusion when an unexpected guest entered her room._

_ "Hey," he said, "its good see you awake."_

_ "Charlie?" Santana asked, perplexity lacing her voice. "What are you doing here?" She spoke in a volume barely above a whisper because her throat was still a little sore._

_ "Well, obviously I'm here to see you. I bought you these, because I know you like them, but I'm not sure if you're allowed to eat them yet or not? I thought about getting flowers but I remember you saying once how cliché they are..." He was holding up a bag of Peanut M&Ms as he paced over to her bedside. He raked his eyes over the figure in the bed taking in her pallid form. _

"_How do you feel?" Charlie asked._

"_Probably almost as bad as I look. Thank you, for the M&Ms. I'm still on liquids but I'll be loving them in a couple of days...umm..." She glanced down at the hands resting in her lap, thumbs rubbing soothing circles over her palms. "How did you even know that I'm in here? Does everybody know?"_

_Charlie's jaw slackened a little and his eyebrows knitted together._

"_No, Santana, nobody knows what happened. I thought the doctors might have told you already; I'm the one who found you and called the ambulance."_

"_Oh...I'm sorry...that you had to see that..."_

"_Santana." Charlie sat down beside her on the bed, taking hold of her hands. "Listen, don't be sorry, because I'm not. I could never be sorry for saving your life, do you understand?" He looked directly into her dark, sunken eyes as he spoke."Look...I know you're life mustn't mean much to right now and I'm guessing you're really confused and maybe even a little angry with me for not letting you die. But, all of those feelings will fade in time, I promise. And when you get to the other side of it you'll find a life worth living. Until then, will you please just think of the people who are going to be devastated if you were to end your life."_

"_Yeah? Like who?" Jutting her chin out as she asked the question, she narrowed her eyes, hiding herself within them._

"_Like me, for one..." He raised his eyebrows in a pleading expression._

"_You told them you're my boyfriend. Why?" Santana asked as she curled her lip in a slight snarl and Charlie seemed to be taken back by tone of her voice and the question itself._

"_Because I thought-"_

"_What, that we were dating? We had sex, Charlie...sex isn't dating." She delivered the line with blunt force that went straight to his heart._

"_I'm pretty sure I've been in love with you since the first time I met you," he said as he lowered his eyes, lacking confidence in his words. "I wish you could see you like I see you. If you let me, I'll love you enough for the both of us until you learn to love yourself."_

_A silence broke upon them, both of them quietly deliberating what should come next._

"_Charlie...I'm...I think..." Santana's eyes shifted uncomfortably as she fought the demons inside herself to try and voice what she had to say. "I'm gay, Charlie. I'm a lesbian." She looked up to read the expression on the man's face but found it indecipherable._

"_Oh," Charlie's mouth formed an 'O' shape, his head tilted to the side. "Is that why you did this?"_

"_Part of the reason, yeah, I guess so."_

"_San..." he lifted his hand to stroke her cheek lightly with his thumb. "You're perfect, you hear me? To be honest, I'm upset that I'll never get to be with you...but that doesn't mean I'll stop loving you. So you're a lesbian, that's fine...but will you let me take care of you...as your friend? Until you can see as well as I can how perfect you really are?"_

_Santana put her arms up to embrace him, as tears she thought had long since run dry suddenly forged a path down her cheeks._

"_Thank-you," She whispered, brokenly into his ear. "You know, you're the first guy who's ever wanted to just be my friend. Thank- you for that."_


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N The long awaited update is here! In case it isn't clear, I've skipped ahead in time slightly. And also, I just want to put a slight warning out there; a section of this chapter might be uncomfortable for some of you to read but that's kind of the effect I was going for. Hopefully, though I've cushioned it with enough light-hearted material. Without any further ramblings, I give you chapter seven!**

**Out of Kindness**

**Chapter Seven**

Despite the talk they had about physical boundaries, Santana and Brittany continued their morning ritual with one another. Charlie would leave for work and, day after day Brittany would sneak into Santana's bed, but not before she'd showered herself clean of her boyfriend's lingering scent and sweat on her skin. It was as though she had to cleanse herself of one love before presenting herself to another. The two of them would snuggle and become immersed in the comfort of the closeness, but each morning their bodies would drift that little bit closer than the morning before. It was as though the blood running through their veins held magnetic properties, drawing each to the other. Once skin landed upon skin, it couldn't be retracted away, only intensified until the two of them lay flush against each other in a tangle of limbs, hair and perfectly concocted scent mingling around them.

They breathed in the comfort, morning after morning, drawing the moment out for as long as possible until one or both of them had to give in to responsibilities and tear themselves away. This morning it was Santana who made the first move to leave, peeling herself from Brittany's embrace.

"No." Brittany said firmly as she held her tightly, making Santana chuckle.

"I have to get up, Britt. I have a shoot this morning."

"Take a shorter shower and stay with me for five minutes longer…please?"

"Okaaay," Santana drawled out in an exhale, trying to mask her happiness at the feeling of being wanted, even if it were just in a platonic way.

Brittany hummed in appreciation of Santana's acquiesce while burying her face in her friend's neck.

"I love our morning snuggles, San. I'll never get tired of this, I swear!" Brittany let out an enthused mumble of words into Santana's skin before she placed a playful peck there with her lips. "What shoot do you have today?"

"An up-and-coming designer's bringing in some new season samples and a couple of models. It's just a really simple, studio shoot." Santana wrapped her arms snuggly around Brittany as she spoke. "But I like those, I get to play around with lighting and experiment with angles and aperture settings."

"I know it'll turn out brilliant, because you're so amazingly talented"

"And you're so amazingly biased!"

"Will you show me the photos tonight? I love seeing your work."

"Yeah, Britty, I'll show you. I'll even let you watch me edit them if you like. Not many people are privileged enough to see that part of the process."

Brittany hummed in content and trailed her fingertips lightly down Santana's arm and back up again, creating goose bumps on olive skin. Santana jolted at the sensations and inhaled sharply. She propped herself up on one elbow, looking down into the bright blue eyes of her friend. She opened her mouth slightly and closed it a second later, her lips forming a tight, thin line as though she wanted to say something but thought better of it.

"What is it?" Brittany asked, raking her eyes tentatively over Santana's face.

"Nothing, I just…I have to get up, Britt." She surrendered a small smile in apology and removed herself completely from the blonde's embrace before exiting the bedroom.

* * *

><p>Santana had taken an extra long shower that morning in order to try and quell the feelings that were creeping through her system. As such, getting to the studio had been a total rush and upon arriving, she instantly busied herself with setting up her equipment.<p>

The studio was abuzz with people moving around her and getting organized for the shoot. There were make-up artist and hair stylists fussing over compliant models, runners being ordered here and there, setting up props for the shoot. Santana was lost in her own thoughts, taking in the ambience of the room and deciding on lighting and camera angles. A familiar face caught her eye and four long strides had her standing directly behind him.

"Well, as I live and breathe, if it isn't Ladyface," she said with a trademark smirk adorning her face.

He turned around, giving her a once-over before returning the smirk.

"Look at that," he spoke, "you don't even have to speak of the devil and the devil appears."

"What are you doing here, Kurt?" Santana asked with a small, yet friendly smile.

"My designs are featured in today's shoot. What about you? Are you one of the P.R. people from the magazine or something?"

Santana shot him a surprised look, with one eyebrow raised and her face tilted to the side.

"I'm the photographer," she said, receiving an equally surprised expression from the young man. "Wait…you're the designer? What happened to your big Broadway dream?"

"Oh, let's not go there!" Kurt said amusedly. "Let's just say I found my calling in the world of fashion. And what about you, Santana? I didn't know that you ever had an interest in photography. I must say, I'm a little surprised at this turn of events."

"Well, it was just kind of a hobby of mine when I was younger, and then I kind of…found myself, so to speak, in college and decided to pursue it. It's worked out so far."

"I can only hope it has. Just quietly, this shoot's kind of a big deal for me," he said in a hushed tone. "It'll help launch my label in a big way so, I'd just about sell my soul to the devil for this to go well. Or to you, if that works." Kurt bounced on the balls of his feet as he spoke excitedly.

"Look, Kurt, I don't really go by the name Satan Lopez anymore. Nobody's called me that since high school actually, so I'm not sure I have any pull with that particular deity. I can, however promise an amazing shoot," Santana said sincerely and with confidence.

"Ooooh, thanks Santana!" He practically squealed in response. "I have to go and prep the models, will we get a chance to talk later? I'd love to catch up with you."

"Yeah," she shot him a genuine smile "Do you want to maybe get a coffee when the shoot's done?"

"Love to! 'Kay, gotta run!" Kurt turned on his heel and walked away in the opposite direction.

Santana watched him walk away with an almost indiscernible smile adorning her face. She slid her fingers into the back pockets of her jeans, raised her shoulders and glanced around the studio in a pensive manner. She wondered what game the universe was playing with her. Why, after all these years, was there a sudden reemergence of people who had played a big part in the past she had tried effortlessly to bury?

* * *

><p><em>The music was crackling in distortion, the way it did at every one of these parties when the sound dial was turned up too loud for the cheap speakers to maintain any quality of sound. However, the ready supply of alcohol provided a fuzzy, cushioning effect to the senses, making the sound not only bearable, but enjoyable.<em>

_ Kurt had one arm crossed over his mid-section, the other crooked at the elbow, resting in his fist. In his other hand he grasped a red solo cup, the rim of which he was absentmindedly running back and forth across his bottom lip. He stood leaning against the wall on the back deck; one foot firmly planted on the ground, the other was bent at the knee, crossed at the ankles, as he rolled the toe of his boot back and forth across the floor below. He held a blank expression on his face, not even attempting to feign amusement as he observed the scene playing out before him. _

_ A few small groups of inebriated teenagers, his fellow classmates, danced on the makeshift dance floor in the grassy yard. Actually, Kurt thought the word dancing would be a rather generous term. He stood and watched as they rubbed up against one another, stumbled over their own feet and spun out of control. With his lips curled and eyes narrowed, he held a look of utter distaste as he observed one group in particular._

_ It could almost be likened to a circle of boys passing a joint between themselves. Only, instead of a joint, it was a girl. Santana was surrounded by four or five boys, each of them with wandering hands sliding over her 'like lizards on a window pane', Kurt thought. Her eyes were so glassed over and unfocused that Kurt assumed her unable to even recall her own name due to sheer intoxication. He watched them handle her like preschoolers bickering over a favorite toy. They were planting sloppy kisses down her neck and locking lips with her whenever her mouth passed their faces; driving their tongues deep into her mouth, as she was rendered useless in any feeble attempt to stop them._

_ It wasn't anything out of the ordinary; in fact, it was quite the regular weekend occurrence. However, the certainty of the situation never made it any easier to watch. And it was beyond his control to ever do anything about it. If he intervened, he risked getting his own ass kicked by the lusting jocks who were more than ready to move in on their pray. The most he could ever do was be there to gather the pieces of Santana that he knew, through careful observation, were sure to shatter at any moment._

_ The buzzing of his phone in his pocket wrenched his attention away from the situation playing out before him. In the few moments it took to retrieve his phone, read and reply to the text it displayed, the scene had drastically changed when he looked back up. Santana was gone, and so too were one, maybe two, of her prizewinners. The remaining few stood around guffawing at each other, slapping palms in a gesture of congratulations to one another. _

_ Kurt rolled is eyes at the foolish behavior of the young men, as he took a small sip from the cup he still held in his palm before placing it down on the table next to him. He couldn't be certain where Santana had been taken, but judging by the direction toward which the others were pointing amusedly, he figured she could found down the side of the house._

_ Hesitating for a few moments, Kurt debated with himself whether or not go after them and coax her away before 'things' started to happen. If he moved fast enough, he might be able to stop it before it really began. On the other hand, if he were to interrupt, that action may hold detrimental consequences for himself. 'Screw it', he thought as he marched around the corner and stopped abruptly once his eyes landed upon the object of his pursuit. This was a completely new experience for Kurt, only having ever witnessed the lead up to, and the aftermath of this very act. Santana was pinned against the side wall with her legs in the air, placed either side of the boy's thrusting hips. Animalistic grunts tumbled from the boy's mouth as he moved vehemently inside of her at the pace of a jackrabbit, banging his pelvis into hers. There was another who stood adjacent to them with his pants around his ankles. This one had a firm grasp on Santana's wrist, forcing her hand to work up and down on himself._

_ The scene before him made Kurt's heart feel exceedingly heavy within his chest; especially so when Santana turned her head to the side and locked her gaze with Kurt's. Her eyes remained fixed on his and held a far more lucid expression than they had during her inebriated dance with the rest of them. Kurt recognized a tortured acceptance within those dark eyes; they exhibited defeat and were simultaneously pleading forgiveness for what Kurt was now witness to._

_ Almost in slow motion, the boy thrusting in and out of Santana turned his head slightly, perhaps to see what she was so fixated on. Once he sought out Kurt's figure in the darkness, the realization that there was an intruder to their party of three conjured a look of thunder to his face._

_ "Get the FUCK out o' here FAGGOT! This isn't a fucking private show. I swear to god I'll fucking kick your ass, little bitch!" He spat the words out in Kurt's direction; his ministrations never ceasing, only growing more fervent and fierce. One particularly hard thrust produced and almost inaudible yelp from Santana._

_ The next few seconds transpired in a sequential blur. Santana turned her head to the other side, away from Kurt, as a large stream of sour liquid flew from her mouth prompting her to cough and gag on the bile. When it hit the ground, it spattered on the two young men, urging the one thrusting inside her to suddenly withdraw as he practically dropped her to the floor._

_ "Urgh, w'the fuck, Santana!" He said as he stepped back, away from the mess._

_ "C'mon, dude. That's disgusting, let's go," the other one said, while attempting to pull up his pants._

_ They turned and walked away from Santana who was on her hands and knees coughing up the remains of her stomach acid, her panties still hanging from her left ankle. One of them charged Kurt's shoulder violently as they both disappeared around the corner without a second glance back._

_ Kurt moved forward to kneel beside Santana, collecting her loose strands of hair into a makeshift ponytail. With his free hand, he pulled her dress down over her thighs, attempting to cover her. He rubbed soothing circles on her back, remaining quiet, waiting for her breathing to even out._

_ When she regained composure somewhat, she fell back into him, throwing his balance off somewhat, but he quickly caught himself, and her in the process. She buried her face in his chest and he wrapped her in a tight embrace, trying to quell her uncontrollable shivering._

_ "Why do you keep doing this to yourself, Santana?" He sighed out, without expecting a response. When he heard muffled words escape her lips, he pulled back to look at her and asked her to repeat herself._

_ "I'm sorry you had to see that…and for what he called you." She spoke with her eyes downcast, avoiding his gaze. She picked herself up from Kurt's embrace and moved to stand on shaky feet, stumbling slightly. Kurt steadied her with his hands and, from his position on his knees, he was able to help her on with her underwear._

_ "Here," he said, stretching the leg of her panties out for her to step into._

_ She looked away in embarrassment, but placed her hands on his shoulders, steadying herself as he slid her undergarment up her legs._

_ "I'm nothing but a bitch to everyone. Why are you always so nice to me at times like this?" There was a hint of a slur in her voice; the lingering effects of the night's consumption of alcohol._

_ "Because you're better than this, Santana," he said with conviction, as he knelt back, looking up at her exhibiting a sincere expression on his face._

_ "But that's just it, Kurt," she said, forcefully wiping tear away from her cheek with the back of her hand. "I'm not."_

_ With that, Santana turned away from Kurt, walked the rest of the way up the side of the house, in the opposite direction of the party, and disappeared into the night. Kurt could only watch her leave, knowing that if he attempted to follow, she'd only roll her protective walls back up and turn on her bitchy façade to keep him away. He'd learnt from experience that if she's capable of walking out, let her go. She didn't want anyone to see what was underneath when the cracks in her armor began to appear. But, little did she realize, Kurt already could see. And so could anyone who cared enough to notice the lost, broken little girl hidden underneath the mask. Because, every mask still has holes for the wearer's eyes to see through, and to be seen in return._

* * *

><p>"Really, thank-you Santana," Kurt said as he grasped a large coffee cup in his hands. The pair was sitting face to face at a small table in a local café. "I know I keep saying it, but that shoot was just amazing! I love your style. I like the way you just hang back most of the time and let a lot of the it play out naturally."<p>

"Thanks, Kurt." Santana ducked her head slightly, blushing at the compliment. "I snapped a couple of you when you weren't looking, by the way."

"What?" He asked, eyes widening in wonder.

"At one point you were fussing over the models and the clothes. I just had to document it. We'll keep 'em for when you're the famous Kurt Hummel; fashion designer extraordinaire." Kurt looked at her bashfully, letting a small laugh tumble from his lips.

"Did you just giggle, Kurt? I didn't think it were possible, but I think you're actually more gay than you were in high school!" Santana teased.

"Oh Santana, ever still the master of wit I see. So, how long have you been working for _Gleam _anyway?" Kurt asked.

"Only a few weeks, actually. Before this I worked for a couple of different magazines in Seattle, and before that I was in Chicago, before that it was Boston. I went to college in Jacksonville but dropped out midway through sophomore year and moved to Miami to study photography at a school of arts there."

"Jacksonville, Florida?" Kurt asked in surprise.

"Unless there's another Jacksonville I'm unaware of…" she said sarcastically, throwing a smirk across the table.

"You sure like to move around a lot."

"Yeah, I guess I tend to get kind of antsy when I'm in one place for too long. In the past I've found it hard to feel settled, so when I pack up and go I never really get the sense that I'm leaving anything behind y'know." Santana looked down at her cup for a few moments before speaking again. "I don't have that feeling this time though. It's funny; I've only been here for a few weeks but I feel more at home than I have in a long time."

"Why is that do you think?" Kurt asked, looking at her pensively.

Santana looked up at him, opened her mouth to say something and closed it again. Kurt watched her, waiting for a response to his question.

"Do you…do you remember Brittany Peirce?" She asked finally, although hesitantly.

"Brittany…" Kurt cocked his head to the side, his eyes travelling upward in thought, as though searching his memories. "Oh, from middle school? You two were inseparable. What ever happened to her?"

"I'm living with her." Santana said, once again looking down and avoiding Kurt's gaze.

"Oh?"

"It's all a big coincidence really. I came here to stay with my friend from college, Charlie. When I got here I found her…she's Charlie's girlfriend."

"That's nice, Santana. It's no wonder you feel at home living with her. I remember the two of you were very close."

"We were closer than anyone realized, Kurt. While living with her is really…great, its also really confusing."

"What are you trying to say, Santana?"

"That I was in love with her back then and I don't know how to feel now." She glanced up with an apprehensive expression.

"You and Brittany?" Kurt's eyebrows were raised so far they almost reached his hairline. When Santana nodded at him, looking slightly amused, he spoke again. "I was never aware you were that way inclined."

"Why, because you saw me have crude sex with a few too many guys in high school?" Kurt's jaw flapped open and closed at the words, resembling a fish fighting for oxygen above the water's surface. "You know as well as I do that I never enjoyed being with any of them," she said, looking at him pointedly.

"So you're a lesbian?" He hushed across the table, leaning in as though he were discussing a conspiracy.

"Yes. Very much out and proud these days."

"Oh!" Realization suddenly dawned on him. "And you're in love with Brittany?"

"Well that's just it; I don't know. I mean, I know I was when we were both still in Lima. I realized that when she left because I felt like I was going to fucking die without her. I spent years trying to bury those feelings because I gave up thinking I'd ever see her again. I just don't know how I'm supposed to feel now." Santana looked across the table at Kurt, widening her eyes slightly as though she had forgotten she had an audience to her monologue. "I'm sorry, I guess this has been building up inside of me for the past few weeks and now I'm spewing my verbal diarrhea all over your expensive lady blouse."

"That's okay, Santana," Kurt said with a wave of his hand. "I love a good gossip as much as the next gay man, so spill. Were you and Brittany together before or were you just friends?"

"We were friends, except we made out all the time. I don't think that either of us wanted to acknowledge what was going on. We just did it because it felt right, I guess. But, we never talked about it."

"So do you think she felt the same?" Kurt asked softly.

"It's possible."

"And what about now? Do you think she has feelings for you?"

"Urgh, it's so hard to tell. Part of me wants to say yes, but I think that's just because I want it to be true. But then the other part of me just plays off the things she does as just being Brittany."

"I need more information. How does she act around you?" Kurt was leaning both elbows on the table in front of him, looking at Santana with rapt attention.

"Well, she's so determined for us to be close again, the way we were before, to the point where she pushes it. For instance, pretty much every morning I wake up to Brittany in my bed. She sneaks in for morning snuggles after Charlie goes to work. She kissed me on the second day I was there because she said she wanted us to go back to normal!"

This caused Kurt to choke loudly on his coffee, trying desperately to regain composure through his gasps.

"You ok, there, Ladylips?" Santana deadpanned, unamusedly.

"Fine," He breathed out. "I'm fine. She kissed you?" Santana nodded. "And we're sitting here trying to figure out whether or not she has feelings for you, why?"

"Because it's Brittany! The girl has, like, no concept of physical boundaries. She just…goes with it." Santana threw her arms in the air in an exaggerated manner. "It's always been that way. One time when we were twelve she went and snuggled with Patches the hobo on his pile of newspaper because, and I quote, he looked like he needed a hug. I had to drag her away and hose her down. It took two bottles of lavender bodywash to get the smell off of her."

"That's an amusing story, Santana. But what's your point?"

"My point is, I'm not sure if Brittany is being affectionate with me because she has feelings for me or because…I don't know, I'm Patches and I need a hug. She's just doing what we did before she left, because that's her way of making us normal again."

"I see your point, but I'm not sure I agree with it. Someone in a committed relationship doesn't go around kissing and having morning snuggles with someone else just because they're trying to recreate a friendship from ten years ago." Kurt looked pointedly at Santana, narrowing his eyes slightly before bringing his cup to his lips to drain the last bit coffee. "I think you need an outsider's opinion. I want to see for myself how she acts around you. We should all do something together."

"Yeah, okay. Not that it'll help any because, as you just said, she's in a committed relationship with a good friend of mine."

"She adds as an afterthought," Kurt said through a smirk.

"Uh, shut it Porcelain, I'm serious."

"I know, but that's a whole new box of issues that I just don't have time to get into right now." He stood from his chair and placed his hand firmly on her shoulder. "Dinner on the weekend? You, me, Brittany and the boyfriend?"

"Yeah," Santana said as she stood to face her friend. "Come to our place. Gimme your number and I'll text you the details once I've sorted it out with the other two."

The two of them swapped numbers and pleasantries, ending their interaction with a tight embrace, before walking away in opposite directions. _Dinner on the weekend_, Santana thought to herself, _this will be interesting with Kurt the protagonist as my guest._


End file.
